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about

2013

lyrics

It's dark and cold, I wanna die
But no I can't, I have to drive
Got used to things I've never asked
It's time at last to get unmasked
I travel through the distant land
In search of what I used to fake
No chance I'll find it in the night
But for excuse I've got no right

I've got no right to disbelieve
No single chance to just forgive
I'll find the reason why I'm here
Or otherwise I'll disappear
My time is ticking to the end
I want my life, I want it bad
So many things I can't let go
I wonder why my name's John Doe

No sign of what I used to do
No sign of what I used to be
No sign of what I used to think
No sign of what I used to drink
No signs no memory remains
No life no future to protect
I hope I'll make it through the night
In search of what I have to find

My vital signs are not alright
My eyelids are afraid of light
But future seems like decent prize
And I still drive for hundred miles
I won't survive it after rise
Daylight will kill me, kill me twice
My past is all I wanna find
That's all I want before I die!

No sign of what I used to do
No sign of what I used to be
No sign of what I used to think
No sign of what I used to drink
No signs no memory remains
No life no future to protect
I hope I'll make it through the night
In search of what I have to find

I can't recall when did it start
I can't forget but, god, I tried
I wish to wake, I wish to stop
I wish to end this "precious" life
I wish to live my life again
To feel the sunlight after rain
And still I try to feel this way
But every time here comes the pain

I'm not a human anymore
I'm not a man that lived before
I don't know how I've done this far
When I look back I see my scars
I've never wanted live like that
Not always been this thing you met
I will not hurt, I'm done this time
I need someone to hear me now

I'm not in sober state of mind
I'm high on drugs they let me drive
I clearly know I will compete
But sun or time will end my trip
My final point is in a mist
I hope at least it does exist
I've never seen the mirrored me
I've got to know what I can be

I am enigma, I am god
I am the hobo, I am mud
I will be next, I can't be late
It is the death I can't escape
I can't escape it, can't prevail
I can't be calm I'm not okay!
I'm finished now I see the sun
I'm leaving now I'm leaving now

credits

from trust (demo), released December 17, 2017

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antagonize tranquilizers image

antagonize tranquilizers Moscow, Russia

Songs from 2011-2013.
Recorded in 2017-2018.
Back in 2021.

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